I've been quite lonely today, as we've said good-bye to 6 MiniMissionaries over the last 48 hours. There are now only the four of us left in the guest house--Laney and Ellie from Florida and North Caroline, both 22 or 23, Tamara from Texas, 18, and myself. Laney and Tamara will leave in three weeks, and Ellie in about 5, and I will leave in about 9-10 weeks. I keep vacillating between joy at being here and homesickness for my family and friends and church buds back in Austin. Today I decided that I don't want to be a long-term missionary for Rafiki. It's just too dang lonely here in the field--even with all the missionaries coming and going, and the bustling cosmopolitan city of Nairobi nearby, and the numerous kiddos who live and attend school here.
Behold my delight when I found this letter from Joy Lucke in my inbox. I received her permission to publish it here in my blog. She picked right up on my discomfort and culture shock, having herself lived in so many third world countries working for U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID).
"Kate, I just looked at your blog and wanted to write to tell you to hang in there. I know how hard it is to find yourself in Africa (or any other foreign place) for the first time and to be overwhelmed by what you see. We call it being "green". It is especially hard in the beginning....culture shock, and many of the feelings you expressed over not being able to do enough. But we can only do what we can each day and each person we help, I believe, sends waves of love in multiples around the planet.
I encourage you to guard your heart some, to take care of yourself, so you can continue to serve. We come from a different culture and I believe it is ok to honor that so you can get up again each day to see what little thing you can do to make a difference on even one person.
When we were w/ US Agency for International Development, we had what a villager would say is a big, expensive house. And in defense I say, to live in a very,very poor country for 4-5 years (25+ years really) and to do quality work, we need to retreat into ourselves, re-charge our batteries, and set out again. The wall around our house gave us our retreat.
I am proud of you. It isn't easy what you are doing and few will understand what you are really experiencing (but I do after so many years living in Mali, senegal, costa rica, bolivia, tunisia, jordan, haiti.....w/ USAID we don't live in garden spots). I'm not sure if your clinic gets any USAID funding, but many, many do. So I also encourage you to realize that it takes lots of different folks, working at lots of different levels to make even a bit of a difference. Many missionary clinics do get funding and without some of those bureaucrats and other westerners working to get that money, it would be worse.
The hardest part is maintaining a loving heart that has a self-protective layer. I tell you that it is hardest in the beginning until you learn how to find that balance. I know the kenyans love you. Thanks for what you are doing. I know you are having an amazing experience and you are right to trust your conversations w/ God to guide you.
God bless you and yours, joy"
I encourage you to guard your heart some, to take care of yourself, so you can continue to serve. We come from a different culture and I believe it is ok to honor that so you can get up again each day to see what little thing you can do to make a difference on even one person.
When we were w/ US Agency for International Development, we had what a villager would say is a big, expensive house. And in defense I say, to live in a very,very poor country for 4-5 years (25+ years really) and to do quality work, we need to retreat into ourselves, re-charge our batteries, and set out again. The wall around our house gave us our retreat.
I am proud of you. It isn't easy what you are doing and few will understand what you are really experiencing (but I do after so many years living in Mali, senegal, costa rica, bolivia, tunisia, jordan, haiti.....w/ USAID we don't live in garden spots). I'm not sure if your clinic gets any USAID funding, but many, many do. So I also encourage you to realize that it takes lots of different folks, working at lots of different levels to make even a bit of a difference. Many missionary clinics do get funding and without some of those bureaucrats and other westerners working to get that money, it would be worse.
The hardest part is maintaining a loving heart that has a self-protective layer. I tell you that it is hardest in the beginning until you learn how to find that balance. I know the kenyans love you. Thanks for what you are doing. I know you are having an amazing experience and you are right to trust your conversations w/ God to guide you.
God bless you and yours, joy"
Thanks, Joy. I need that. Now I want to thank all of you for the correspondence, blog comments, and constant encouragement as I continue to live here and as almost daily, "What the heck am I doing here, Lord?" I do love Africa, with all my heart. It's everything I dreamed of and more. It will take me quite some time to process all that I am experiencing. It helps to hear from those who have felt similar emotions. Thanks Joy, Nicki, Joley, Matt, Sandy, Gordon, Michael, Alicia, Jeanne, Stephanie, Eric, Maggy, Kevin, Susan, Todd, Daniel, Caryn, Sara, Julie, Carla, Irene, Colleen, Cheryl, Tony, Tommy, Mom and Dad, Barbara, and everyone else who has sent me a note of encouragement via email!
Enjoy the images from the farewell dinner for the medical missionaries followed by the interactive bonfire devotional for the kids and missionaries and mamas, a joyous event!
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